What BS has to do with Bios

How about we open this post with one of life’s universal truths which I’m sure we can all collectively sigh along to >>>

Sometimes people break up.


And despite the fact I spent this past Valentine’s Day sipping whiskey alone to the third season of True Detective with an order of home-delivered hot wings all over my hands and face, I’m not even talking about romantic splits --- I’m talking about the client ones.

Which are unnerving and unfortunate in their own right.

I’ve been mulling over how to craft this article since usually I fall secretly in love with everyone I get to work with, so it seems misrepresenting to spotlight an inevitable client relationship that expired before its time, BUT...

I happen to know there’s a beautiful pearl inside this dead oyster.

Shame to have it go to waste. And stupid to expect all pearls of wisdom to come gifted in an elegant velveteenbox.

So here’s the gist: We couldn’t get our calendars to play nice, therefore the project stalled which happens to be the very circumstances that make it impossible for me to do my job, and when I can’t do my job, it screws with my flow, thus my time, thus my bottom line, which all in all made me feel ** how shall I put this **………………...………....feral.

My mind, when stuck and unsure how to proceed, kind of starbursts in a thousand directions as multiple bolts of electricity go mining the far regions of my brain for solutions.

That, or I’m shortcircuiting.

Regardless, a dubious situation with no obvious exits sprouts a new, unfamiliar wilderness where you're the one inventing the map.

And yes, I asked a copywriter friend for help, sought feedback in my networking group, DMed my coach, and while the advice and feedback I got were fine, it wasn’t what I wanted to hear because I was asking “How should I handle this?” when what I really wanted to know was, “How should I bethinking about this?

Do you see the distinction? One is about advice and one is about attitude. 

I had to figure out my stance which was - Any project that is primary to me but secondary to whomever I’m partnering with isn’t going to work for many reasons.  

In other words, you can't hire me to care more about your brand than you do.

And with that realization came the language to talk and amicably dissolve the relationship.

So by now you’re asking - what the hell does this have to do with bios, which is ---

ANY story you’re telling yourself - be it ones you’re trying to write or just DEAL with in the moment - that has you confused, hunting for language, connecting the dots, agitated, or upset is a story you haven’t found a way to get close to yet.

Like anything that’s feral, you’re still sniffing the parameters for the right approach.

Which can be infuriating (but noble) work that's well worth your time.  Otherwise, you tell a story that's more about how you feel instead of the story about where you stand.

Caroline Mays