You’re a neurotic, obsessive perfectionist with crazy demands and ridiculously high standards.
Which is a refreshingly good thing - the Internet needs people like you.
People who don't choose cheap and easy. People who've decided that if they have to "sell themselves?"
They're going to do it without selling out.
You've seen it before.
There's a type who's willing to slap content together and label themselves a “CEO” or a “Thought Leader,” when in reality, they're just someone with a website who's unclear on their offer and their message.
There are those that claim expertise in very general fields like coaching and marketing (because that's the quickest way to make a buck, right?).
There are those who promise to make customers rich because they know the formula for wealth.
And they all do the standard blah blah blah, me me me talk with inspirational quotes sprinkled here and there, and they've given zero consideration to WHO they are or WHAT they stand for.
But you'd rather light yourself on fire than be that jackass.
So you sit...
Toiling away on the other end of the spectrum, barely publishing anything on your site because quality matters and you give a rip about what people read about you - especially those who already KNOW you. And the rest of your family.
Being the Girl Scout and the idealist for whom quality and the integrity of the work matters. So you write and delete and rewrite and edit until the chair you're seated in feels like it's morphing into a permanent extension of your butt (every writer's realest nightmare).
Aiming for clarity and creative identity - which is the ultimate goal.
And insisting that - ANYTHING YOU PUT YOUR NAME ON better damn well represent.
All this is a crazy big deal...otherwise you wouldn't be sweating it.
The fantastic news is:
You’re an anomaly in this mass-marketed, hollow-branded, selfie-driven world (do we need our anomalies or what?!).
And for this, you might be scoring major karma points.
The bummer news is:
You’re stuck and unable to move forward because WORDS ARE HARD and you know they matter, but you’d almost rather stay stuck than come off as an amateur/boring/full-of-shit windbag in front of everyone you know. Or want to know. Or want to help.
So what you need -
is to say something important about yourself so your customer gets you. And that elevates your brand and supports your personality. You also need to come off confident, competent, smart, impressive, and accomplished (even if you don't always feel that way).
you need to find the right words. And that's the part you've been working on. And you’re close. You think.
Still...it doesn't feel quite right.
DIYing your online bio (and everything else for that matter) is a BOLD move.
But even the boldest among us need a big ol' rusty spoonful of reality. Input, feedback, direction, and support from someone who GETS how important your online image is and what it means to you and your business is imperative. You need those things because you need to move forward. And because while you’re hunched over your document, writing, rewriting, deleting and stewing, your customer is out there scratching their heads wondering where you are.
Which is why we need to get you out there, armed with what you already have in spades:
Your story (that thing that makes you different)
Since you have all three, let's make sure you sell all three.
Who qualifies for a consult?
- Considers herself to be a good writer (but not so good at branding or writing about herself, because what are you, some kind of narcissist?!).
- Has painstakingly devoted the hours to their bio/about/anything-to-do-with-identity page and is ready to show it to someone for honest, constructive feedback that leads to Aha! Eureka! and Holy shit! moments, so you can fix it and be done and MAYBE accept an invitation to do something outside of your house for once.
- Can take constructive feedback and execute the plan we come up with together to strengthen your story and empower your online presence with COMPELLING language that will make a reader LOVE you more than the next gal one website tab over.
- Someone with a strong grasp of the English language and sentence structure - this isn't grammar class, this is arts hour, baby!
What you get for the $750 write on target Consult:
- A professional copywriter hunched at her desk, coffee in hand with the door shut and not even the cat is allowed in, pouring over your document, workshopping it to strengthen the weak parts, omit the unnecessary, and make suggestions (that you should definitely take to heart) as to how to give your bio the in-your-face, professional, I-can't-stop-reading qualities it deserves.
- A one-on-one phone conference with me to review notes, ask questions, make clarifications, so you can intelligently tackle this bio and confidently strike it from your to-do list. Which is going to feel SO GOOD. I just wish I could buy you a drink.
- Notes. Glorious, plentiful notes tailored specifically to you and your "problem spots" to refer back to that'll keep you on track.
- Peace of mind that you are, in fact, doing this right. You got this. And I got you.
**CLARIFICATION: Please consider, I'm not writing your bio for you. That’s a different service. This service includes my review, along with my notes, suggestions, and a one-on-one consult - so you aren’t in a bubble, too close to the writing you're wanting to do yourself, and out of sync with which direction you need to be headed (Could you just kiss me right now?!).**
So now what?
- Heat up your coffee. (Or, hell, just make a new cup - spare yourself the microwaves and live a little.)
- Fill our the form below and let's see if this service is right for you.
- I'll follow up within 48 hours via email to either schedule our one-on-one or ask more questions.
- If we move forward, we get you paid up, and we're officially rockin' and rollin'. Or headbanging...anything but swing dancing, please.
I'm seriously looking forward to it, ya crazy-ass Internet wrangler. Have you lost a tooth yet in this fight?
It is just. That. Easy.
The most effective online bio you can ever write is both the one that sells AND the one that captures who you are in business and life. So let's talk. Let's make sure you're speaking to your customer.
And let's make sure the real you (and the best you) is the one that gets put out there.
Caroline Mays is a writer and the creator of Switchblade Lemonade, a defiantly unorthodox bio writing salon that specializes in crafting beautiful online bios for service oriented pros and their businesses.
She insists that the average “about me” paragraph, crammed with accolades, facts, and humorous “quirks” we hope sound good on paper, is not only a boring square we’re conditioned to stuff ourselves into - it’s a coffin-shaped box we’re expected to lie down in.
Conformity is dead on the inside. But the stories that made us are robust, complicated, and very much alive. With aggressive creativity, intelligent observation, and unapologetic audacity, Caroline helps clients unleash a truer, bolder, irresistibly compelling bio that sells their work, instead of an uninspired, predictable one that notoriously sells them short.