Switchblade Lemonade
Switchblade Lemonade
The perfect mix of words is your most persuasive weapon

A killer bio doesn't tell who you are.

It SHOWS what you're made of.


~ online bios ~

The most distinguishable, unforgettable quality you have is the story that made you. How you tell that story matters. For the sake of your business. Your brand. Your identity.


Bull Pen - $920

The signature online bio writing service for your story (a.k.a. bio) - which is as ornery, unpredictable, and problematic to grapple with as you are.  

For entrepreneurs who're ready to raise the stakes and embark on a whole new approach to your bio. One that is foundational to your brand. One that leads with its heart. One that uses its horns. 


Give a Damn - $200

Consulting Services for when you've been struggling, perfecting, writing, deleting, and rewriting your online bio FOREVER because words matter and writing is HARD. But any professional who's taking themselves seriously needs constructive intervention and fresh direction to get the job done.

Especially when your motto is - "If I'm putting MY name on it? I'm damn well going to do it right."   


The Book - Coming Soon

Most bio writing advice isn't advice - it's emotional abuse:

"Don't be boring! But be professional. Follow this formula! But be original. Don't be stuffy! But have perfect grammar." 

Which is why I'm doing something different. Something way more fun. And something way more suitable for a creative like you. 



Switchblade Lemonade - a defiantly unorthodox bio writing salon - is the result of one writer's bullheaded insistence that paragraphs crammed with titles, accolades, and facts we hope sound good on paper are not only a boring square we're trying to squeeze ourselves into.

It's a (coffin shaped) box we're expected to lie down in.

This explains why writing about the self is so difficult - conformity is awkward. Stiff. Dead on the inside. But a story like the robust, complicated, often feral thing you're packing around?

It's very much alive - and it hates the confines of tight spaces.


With fierce creativity, intelligent observation, and unapologetic audacity, we unleash a truer, bolder, irresistibly compelling bio that sells our work, instead of writing an uninspired, predictable one that notoriously sells us short. Because playing small and doing things everyone else's way was never a reason to show up.

In fact, owning who we really are is the whole reason we're here.



Follow me on Instagram @beautifulbios. Because, seriously, screw Facebook.